31 August 2009


I came back yesterday night from my andalusian trip. It was pleasant and refreshing. It was the first true vacation after a long quinquennium.
I expected that this time could help me to sort out ideas and focus goals. Instead, once there, I just stopped to think and let myself naturally plunge into the waves of vacation. I finally enjoyed not to find me in conflict with myself for neglecting any responsibility.
But that is already past. Now I'm here seeking job ads and putting up with bills.
After the end of last contract, this is the very first work day which sees me not working, and thus the first day in which I can entirely feel the psychological burden of this unexpected condition of unemployment.
However this unlucky outcome has put me in a weird good mood. I can see clear and see how less and less bearable has been that routine for me. Is this that kind of shakes than can lead a person to change chapter in life? I really wish it is.
However all appears more difficult now. I won't likely get into the industry I aim to as only those very experienced ones seem to be admitted into those very few research labs. Besides, this seems to be a time where hardly someone here would be willing to pay me for doing the things I like.
But it's funny (and bitter at the same time) when they do drop proposals for pieces of work I get done along with my hobbystic activity. I consider this fact in no way good because, even though employers know this is value-added, they want to save the money of the research process to get it. They let others to develop the key technologies and leave themselves the task to integrate. And yet they can't understand why, while other businesses are always busy, their company is always slow...
So, at last, for the sake of my mental sanity, I have reasonably accepted to keep on working for those who pay me as well, even if for doing less interesting things, routinary things. And secretly I will keep on quenching the thirst of my thirsty mind by means of those few drops I can get in my very spare time.

1 Comment:

Anonymous said...

I am also unemployed and learning to make video games. The best thing is to work on what you want. Do not miss the direction and success!
20 September, 2010 01:41

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